"If owning a gun and knowing how to use it worked, the military would be the safest place for a woman. It’s not.
If women covering up their bodies worked, Afghanistan would have a lower rate of sexual assault than Polynesia. It doesn’t.
If not drinking alcohol worked, children would not be raped. They are.
If your advice to a woman to avoid rape is to be the most modestly dressed, soberest and first to go home, you may as well add “so the rapist will choose someone else”.
If your response to hearing a woman has been raped is “she didn’t have to go to that bar/nightclub/party” you are saying that you want bars, nightclubs and parties to have no women in them. Unless you want the women to show up, but wear kaftans and drink orange juice. Good luck selling either of those options to your friends.
Or you could just be honest and say that you don’t want less rape, you want (even) less prosecution of rapists."
"Here’s the thing. Men in our culture have been socialized to believe that their opinions on women’s appearance matter a lot. Not all men buy into this, of course, but many do. Some seem incapable of entertaining the notion that not everything women do with their appearance is for men to look at. This is why men’s response to women discussing stifling beauty norms is so often something like “But I actually like small boobs!” and “But I actually like my women on the heavier side, if you know what I mean!” They don’t realize that their individual opinion on women’s appearance doesn’t matter in this context, and that while it might be reassuring for some women to know that there are indeed men who find them fuckable, that’s not the point of the discussion.
Women, too, have been socialized to believe that the ultimate arbiters of their appearance are men, that anything they do with their appearance is or should be “for men.” That’s why women’s magazines trip over themselves to offer up advice on “what he wants to see you wearing” and “what men think of these current fashion trends” and “wow him with these new hairstyles.” While women can and do judge each other’s appearance harshly, many of us grew up being told by mothers, sisters, and female strangers that we’ll never “get a man” or “keep a man” unless we do X or lose some fat from Y, unless we moisturize//trim/shave/push up/hide/show/”flatter”/paint/dye/exfoliate/pierce/surgically alter this or that.
That’s also why when a woman wears revealing clothes, it’s okay, in our society, to assume that she’s “looking for attention” or that she’s a slut and wants to sleep with a bunch of guys. Because why else would a woman wear revealing clothes if not for the benefit of men and to communicate her sexual availability to them, right? It can’t possibly have anything to do with the fact that it’s hot out or it’s more comfortable or she likes how she looks in it or everything else is in the laundry or she wants to get a tan or maybe she likes women and wants attention from them, not from men?
The result of all this is that many men, even kind and well-meaning men, believe, however subconsciously, that women’s bodies are for them. They are for them to look at, for them to pass judgment on, for them to bless with a compliment if they deign to do so. They are not for women to enjoy, take pride in, love, accept, explore, show off, or hide as they please. They are for men and their pleasure."
It’s okay to say “no” if you change your mind. We allow you to change majors and change direction and change clothes, with no repercussions other than possibly wasted time. If his touch is too forceful and his breath too hot and his weight too much, you are not bound to your previous decision. If your mimd is screaming and your nerves are sizzling, they are as valid then and now as they were five minutes ago, when you were saying yes.
It’s okay to say “no” if you were flirting. Batted eyelashes and sly smirks and witty words do not form a map to your uncharted territory. Your playfulness does not relieve them of their self control. Your allure does not diminish their responsibility to be respectful. The only path you led them on is that of the unknown, of which the rules of the road still apply.
It’s okay to say “no” if you’re unsure.
It’s okay to say “no” if you’re embarrassed.
It’s okay to say “no” when they tell you it isn’t okay to say “no.”"
When men talk of women and girls in terms of legal/not legal, what they’re really saying is “I already sexually objectify this child and would attempt to fuck her if there were no laws in the way.”
You can’t deny that is fucking scary.
made re-bloggable for tatscobabble <33
Just because the drinks are free doesn’t mean women have to drink them, just sayin. There is some degree of blame you can put on women in this situation for drinking to begin with. drinking in moderation. Not protecting the men in this situation that would do this, just pointing out that girls have a choice to not drink or get belligerently drunk.
Is this response a parody or something?
OK, Mr. Genuinely Nice Guy. Here’s the thing.
First of all, women are already inundated with messaging that we’re to blame if something happens to us. So I guess thanks for bringing up the already often mentioned so-called “fact” that HEY WOMEN ARE PARTIALLY TO BLAME FOR BEING RAPED IF THEY GET REALLY DRUNK.
Second of all, we were talking about RAPE CULTURE. It is really fucking creepy that the idea of DRUNK WOMEN is designed to LURE MEN to a location. Even if none of the women got plastered, the whole idea of having women drink for free so that it can be advertised for the sole reason of enticing men to come to your venue is fucked up.
And sorry, my blood alcohol content does not force anyone to become a rapist.
We weren’t even talking about blame! But thank you Mr. Genuinely Nice Guy for bringing it up and saying that women are partially to blame if they are harmed after getting drunk. We don’t hear it often enough.
"If guys were as mad about rape as they are duck face we wouldn’t have a rape culture problem."
Jamie Kilstein (via stuzie)
Other things most straight white guys get way more upset about than they do about rape:
- Taylor Swift
- the song “Call Me Maybe”
- girls who date “douchebags”
- basically any music that isn’t played by white dudes with guitars
- girls who are “shallow” or “fake”
- girls who wear too much make-up
- girls who don’t wear enough make-up
- fat girls
- when people badmouth dark and gritty superhero films
- Justin Bieber
- someone thinking that they’re gay
- women “hating” men
- women hating men
- women saying no
- women saying yes
- women being friends with them
- women talking back to them
- women dressing “slutty”
- women having “too much sex”
- women not putting out enough
- women not paying for their dinner
- women paying for their dinner
- women getting abortions
- women not getting abortions
- women running for president
- women posting pics of themselves online
- women refusing to post pics of themselves online
- women who are “special snow flakes”
- women who just follow the herd
- women who don’t give a fuck
- women who give too many fucks
- ugly women
- pretty women
- women talking
- women refusing to talk
- women entering their spaces
- women avoiding their spaces
- women “objectifying themselves”
- women being human